Authenticity is great… until it isn’t.

Some time ago I worked with this project manager who was brilliant. Sharp mind, deep knowledge of the business, plenty of ideas to improve performance. But there was a problem: I very quickly realised that no one wanted to work with him.

Why? Because he was too “authentic”. Blunt. Unfiltered. Lacking self-awareness. He didn’t listen, didn’t adapt, didn’t read the room. And eventually, he lost influence, despite being right.

We often hear that leaders should “bring their whole self to work.” Sure, genuineness builds trust.

The thing is that sometimes, your whole self isn’t what the role needs.

Imagine a surgeon mid-operation, pausing to share self-doubt. In that moment, we don’t want vulnerability, we want calm, competence, and control.

Leadership is similar. It’s not about suppressing who you are. It’s about calibrating it.

Bringing up the traits the moment requires and toning down the rest.

That’s not being fake. That’s being effective. Leadership is no different. There are times to be open and vulnerable, and others when people need you to perform a role. Not a fake version of yourself, but a calibrated one. A version that meets the moment.

The best leaders don’t just “be themselves.” They know which version of themselves to dial up. Be real but also be appropriate. That’s not inauthentic. That’s smart.